Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
