i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
