I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
