ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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