Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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