we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
