dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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