i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
