he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
