do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So much rum. So many feels.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
