she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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