so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
