Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
