We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i believe in u and ur pee
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
