Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
