his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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