I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize