no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
