ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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