I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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