think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
