I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
