so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
