Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
