Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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