def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
