you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
