yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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