If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
