ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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