**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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