i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
