Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
