I can text with my tongue
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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