How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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