I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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