Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
