OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
