I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
