What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
