dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I want to fling myself into the sun
I enjoy the company of your penis
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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