lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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