She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
