I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
