You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I smell stomach acid.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
