So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
