Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just found puke in my bra..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
