Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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