Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dignity is for republicans.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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