I want to stick my p in your. b.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
