My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
