M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
