two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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